Formation for Priesthood
I was ordained to the Sacred Order of Priests in
the Episcopal Church USA in December, 2007. It had been a very
long time
coming. For much of my adult life, I sensed God's call but
resisted, denied, and bargained with it. It was this last
strategy that seemed most effective; I would simply add another lay
ministry to my portfolio, until I started referring to myself as the
"wearer of many hats" in my parish and diocese.
Truth be told, I often thought about seminary during those years
(mostly in Massachusetts). I had a number of friends who were
either seminarians or on the faculty/staff of the local seminaries,
particularly the Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge and the Andover
Newton Theological Seminary in Newton Centre. The "Process" in
the Diocese of Massachusetts was very intimidating at that time, and
that was one of several excuses I used to set thoughts of seminary
aside for a little longer. I suppose I was hoping to outlast it.
20 April 2001: Struck by the "Celestial 2x4"
I returned home to Colorado in 1997 to "reboot" my life, as I separated
from and later divorced my wife of 24 years. I settled in a
town home in Fort Collins and landed at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church,
largely on the strength of the preaching by the priest who was then the
Vicar. The parish family was very welcoming, and I stayed and got
involved (though not to the same degree as I had in Massachusetts) in
various lay ministries.
Professionally, the move was more challenging. I'd had little
difficulty finding a software engineering position as I moved west;
my new employer even paid for my relocation. The Denver job
market doesn't
pay as well as Boston did (big surprise), but I hoped that it would
also be significantly less expensive (it isn't). The economic
"bubble" burst and companies started belt tightening. They also
became a lot less gracious in their dealings with their employees.
I commuted 80 miles each way from Fort Collins to Denver; the VanGo
vanpool saved a lot of wear and tear on both myself and my car for a
monthly cost comparable to gasoline ($1.25/gallon at the time).
Where my previous employer (the OSF Research Institute in Cambridge,
MA) actively encouraged telecommuting, my Denver employer (ADIC) did
not. ADIC merely tolerated the daily schedule (7am - 4pm)
dictated by van ridership. That, plus other issues, contributed
to my departure in 2000. My next employer was a startup that
supported both my van pool schedule and my occasional need to
telecommute; alas, they fell on hard financial times and
my team was eliminated.
It was that layoff that served as my wakeup call (aka the "Celestial
2x4 across the forehead"). I had to accept that my career had
passed its peak. The two people closest to me each said, "It's
time you
paid attention to that calling of yours." They spoke within two
hours of each other, and
without prompting. That's very hard to ignore, even while
grieving my loss.
There were other coincidences, each indicating that God was engaged in
a
"full court press" to get my attention. My Rector (St. Andrew's
had called him first to be its Vicar, then grew to parish status) had
asked me a few days earlier if I would lead Sunday worship a fortnight
hence. He and his wife were going to visit their daughter in
Omaha that weekend, and he had been unable to find a supply priest to
cover the service. I was happy to do so, even though I wondered
at the time how I would find the time to pull together a decent
homily. I was laid off the following Friday. That certainly
proved the adage, "Be careful what you pray for -- you just might get
it!"
Starting "the Process"
About a month after my layoff, I met one morning with my Rector,
Fr. Jim Paul. His visit to his daughter had been good, and he was
describing her parish as the blend of a black congregation and a white
congregation that took a new name instead of combining names or
choosing one over
the other. Our conversation rambled a bit over my job search,
how the service I led had gone, and how I was feeling.
At some point, the discussion turned serious. We drifted into the conversation (about
entering the ordination process). I admitted that it was time for
me "fish or cut bait." (I actually used a more colorful
expression, but I'm sure you get the drift.) As we hugged and I
went home, I felt that one great weight had been lifted from my
shoulders, to be replaced by the greater weight of the Process.
Each Episcopal diocese (there are about 100 of them across the
United States) has its own version of "the Process," but the national
canons are specific enough that they have a lot in common. The
Process is subject to modification from time to time, especially as
different bishops take the helm. I'll describe the Process that
was in effect in the
Diocese of Colorado when I started. It has subsequently been
revised, but most of its elements are analogous to other
locations.
The diocesan web site
provides full details of the current Ordination
Process. [CLICK HERE]
Summer, 2001: Aspirancy
Following both ancient tradition and canon law, the Process is broken
into three phases: Aspirancy, Postulancy, and Candidacy.
This first phase is one of discernment, during which the Aspirant works
with others inside and outside the congregation to articulate and
validate his/her sense of calling. In many cases, the calling is
to something other than ordained ministry, but there is always a
calling to service. [Click here for my
own journey.]
I first met with the Commission on Ministry (CoM), which serves as the
Bishop's council of advice with regard to the ordination process, in
May, 2002. They did not feel that I was yet ready for Postulancy
at that time, so they suggested several things that I should address
before returning to them. My second meeting was in August, 2003,
after which I was recommended for Postulancy.
12 January 2004: Postulancy
Once all the "heads nod in unison" to affirm a calling to ordained
ministry, the Bishop may admit the Aspirant to Postulancy. That's
the largest single hurdle in the Process; from there on, it's mostly a
matter of doing the work to be ready for each of the subsequent
steps. Bishop O'Neill admitted me as a Postulant in January,
2004, shortly after his institution as the 10th Bishop of Colorado.
It is during this phase that the new Postulant begins formation,
usually at an Episcopal seminary. The normal path is to earn a
Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree, which is a three year
program. Episcopal
seminaries usually require their applicants to either have been
accepted as Postulants or to have their bishops' explicit
permission to apply. Though I had gathered information about
seminaries
during my Aspirancy, I couldn't get serious until I had actually
been admitted as a Postulant.
I considered four Episcopal seminaries, but quickly narrowed the field
to two. Once I visited the Episcopal
Theological Seminary of the Southwest (ETSS) in Austin, I could
sense that
this was the place to which God was calling me. In the interest
of "due diligence," I also
applied to Seabury-Western in Evanston, IL.
The admissions processes at both seminaries include a personal
interview on campus. My ETSS application was running a bit ahead
of my Seabury application, and I met with the Director of Admissions
and
an interview committee in May, 2004. By the end of the
interview, I had been offered a place in the Class of 2007. I
accepted
without a moment's hesitation. This is the place!
The Process is much less complex for Postulants as they move toward
Candidacy. We're required to continue Spiritual Direction
throughout the Process, and beyond ordination.
At the time, I was supposed
to be assigned a Priest Mentor, but the CoM was otherwise
occupied; with their permission, I recruited a priest I knew from
Cursillo who was also
a recent ETSS graduate. As the Process has continued to evolve
under Bishop O'Neill, a "Liaison" to the Board of Examining Chaplains
was appointed to monitor my progress.
I was considered for the next step, Candidacy, in October of
2006. By then, I had completed two years of study and
received my "Middler Evaluation" by the seminary. I had spent a
full
year at my field parish assignment, working somewhat more than the five
hours per week that is required. I had also completed one
unit (400 hours) of Clinical Pastoral
Education, serving as a hospital
chaplain at Boulder Community Hospital. My interview with the
Commission on Ministry went well, and the Bishop admitted me as a
"Candidate for Ordination to the Transitional Diaconate" on October 4,
2006.
4 October 2006: Candidacy
The canons of the Episcopal Church USA require a minimum of
six months
each as a Postulant and as a Candidate. The practice of the
Diocese of Colorado is about two years as a Postulant, and about eight
months as a Candidate. The Candidacy interview with the
Commission on Ministry is intended to confirm that the applicant is on
track for ordination. S/he remains a work in
progress, but by that point the diocese will have a sense of how s/he
will turn out.
The main events during Candidacy are the General Ordination Exams
(GOEs), which I took in January 2007, and graduation on May 15th.
The GOEs are a big deal; they cover all seven of the areas
of study required by the canons and the Diocese of Colorado took them
quite seriously as they evaluated my readiness for ordination.
Continuing a tradition of the undivided Church (before the Great Scism
between East and West in 1054), Anglican priests are first ordained as
Deacons. The Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholic communions do
likewise, but most other Protestant denominations do not. There
is a debate within Anglicanism about direct ordination to the
priesthood (affirming the Diaconate as a distinctly different
order), and I will confess to some ambivalence. Though a deacon
may be less useful within a local congregation than a priest would be,
my
belief is/was that I should
pass through the
diaconal phase and that I should be as truly a deacon as possible
during
that time. Within two months, I connected with St. Clare's
Supper, which is truly a ministry of service to Denver's homeless and
working poor. Years later, I remain deeply involved in that
ministry, as both priest and deacon.
Bishop O'Neill ordained me as a Transitional Deacon on June 9,
2007. I was still searching for my first "cure" (clerical
position) as a Curate (junior assistant in a parish) or as the
Vicar/Deacon in Charge of a small church at that time. Four of us
completed our MDiv degrees in the
spring of 2007, which is fewer than in recent years. That should
have worked
to our
benefit, because there aren't very many parishes in the Diocese of
Colorado with the resources to hire one of us. This was a journey
of faith; I believed that God would lead each of us to connect with
congregations where we could both serve and grow.
In fact, there was only one Curate position open in the diocese at the
time we were ordained. One of our number chose to pursue doctoral
studies at his seminary, leaving three of us to apply for it. I
wasn't offered that position, but I took the chance that something
would open for me when I returned to the diocese after
graduation. As it turned out, I was needed to serve as the
Coördinator and Secretary of the 120th Diocesan Convention in
October. I also connected to two parishes in Denver, which
provided both an altar at which to exercise the liturgical side of
diaconal ministry, and a real-life setting for the servanthood portion.
After six months as a Transitional Deacon, I was ordained to the Sacred
Order of Priests in God's One, Holy, Catholic (universal), and
Apostolic Church. I began to serve as a Supply Priest (much like
a substitute teacher) for congregations in Fort Collins, Colorado
Springs, Dillon, and Kremmling as I prayed for a placement as a
Priest-in-Charge or Vicar somewhere. I had once observed that
exactly half of the 116 congregations
in the Diocese of Colorado are along the Front Range (from north of
Fort Collins to south of Trinidad), while the other half are not. I could have
landed
anywhere, and Colorado is a very large place (104,094 square miles).
My prayers were answered at about the same time my sojourn with the
Office of the Bishop came to an end. I moved on to become the
Priest-in-Charge of St. Charles the Martyr Episcopal Church in Fort
Morgan, Colorado. Priests-in-Charge are appointed for up to three
years, after which they and the congregation discern their mutual
desire to make the relationship permanent.
In our case, we did not. I have since become a Bi-Vocational
priest, returning to my profession in Software Engineering while
serving as a supply priest/pastor to Episcopal and Lutheran
congregations in Northeastern Colorado and as a Priest Associate at
Trinity Episcopal Church in Greeley.
As the Bishop pointed out to us at our ordination, formation is a
life-long process. We are continuously being formed into the
priests that God has called us to be. Please pray for each of us
as we do so.