Aspirancy

1. The first step is the meeting between the individual and his/her priest.  Unlike some faith traditions, where individuals send themselves to seminary (or not) before they have to prove themselves to one or more church bodies for ordination, the Episcopal Church requires extensive "discernment" first.  Episcopal seminaries usually restrict their Master of Divinity programs to people who have been recommended by their bishops.  That recommendation doesn't come easily or lightly.
   
   The Diocese of Colorado has a set of process documents and forms that fill a notebook.  Fr. Jim obtained a set for me and we went over them before I officially started the Process.  There was a simple form that we signed to inform the diocese that I was doing so.
   
   
2. Over the course of the next few months, I continued to meet with Fr. Jim on a regular basis.  As a priest serving a parish, he was in a good position to point out just what I would face (both good and bad) as I serve congregations after ordination.  He also did his own continued discernment of my vocation (calling).
   
   
3. As an individual, I was (and remain) required to be in Spiritual Direction.  I obtained a half dozen names of Spiritual Directors, talked to several of them, and eventually connected with David Kenney+, who happened to have been in seminary with Fr. Jim.  I cannot understate the value of Spiritual Direction, even if one has no intention of seeking ordination.
   
   
4. Fr. Jim also recruited a Congregational Discernment Committee for me.  I had served on such committees for other people in the past, so I knew what that was about.  This time, though, I was the person under the magnifying glass.  Nine faithful souls, from a very wide variety of backgrounds, quickly volunteered.  I am grateful to all of them for their service and honesty.
   
   
5. All these activities happen at the local level, but they point to a discernment at the diocesan level.  ECUSA canons require the existence of a Commission on Ministry (CoM) to advise the Bishop with regard to those who are in the Process.  The goal of the Aspirancy phase is to have a successful interview with the CoM.  My main input to that effort was the completion of the Application for Postulancy form.  The largest part thereof was my Spiritual Autobiography (the first of many in this process), which I shared with my discernment committee.
   
   
6. When I started, the process in Colorado required a minimum of six months of meetings between the Aspirant and the discernment committee, presumably monthly.  We actually met twice monthly for that period.  (The Process now calls for a year of discernment.)  At the end of that time, the committee wrote a report that responded to specific questions from the CoM and strongly recommended me for Postulancy.  The report went first to the Vestry, which decides whether to forward it to the CoM.
   
   
7. As the Congregational Discernment Committee completed its work, I was writing my own letter to the CoM that described my Spiritual Direction experience and was co-signed by David+.  Actually, I wrote, David+ nudged, and I revised until we were both happy with the result.
   
   
8. Similarly, my Rector wrote his own letter of recommendation to the CoM.
   
   
9. Once they had received the recommendations from the discernment committee and Rector, the Vestry weighed in.  They made it a point to recommend me unanimously, a move that I found most humbling.
   
   
10. I took the whole package to the Diocesan offices once it was complete and I held my breath.  I was eventually scheduled to meet the CoM on May 20, 2002, 13 months to the day after the Celestial 2x4.
    
    
11. I met with the CoM on May 20th.  The commission allots time in their monthly agenda to interview Aspirants, having already reviewed the packet of information and recommendations from the Rector and Vestry.  They asked a number of probing questions, then asked me to wait outside while they deliberated.  Fr. Jim was present, and he waited with me.  After a half hour or so, we were ushered into a conference room and given the verdict.  In my case, the CoM perceived a calling, but wanted me to address some personal and spiritual issues before proceeding.
    
    I greatly appreciated the personal touch; in many other dioceses, the aspirant is eventually informed by mail.  I was invited to return to the CoM when the time was right.  I should also note that I would not have had a second chance in some other dioceses; it's all or nothing the first time around.
    
    
12. The CoM's discernment was dead on, which tells me that the Process is working.  Spiritually, they asked me to work on my Christology, which might have been described as stratospheric.  I needed to bring my understanding and relationship with Christ down from the celestial to the personal.  My Spiritual Director had already planned to work with me in that area, so we began.
    
    
13. The personal issues had to do with lingering emotions from my divorce, five years earlier.  After a bit of "networking," I connected with an Episcopal priest in Laramie, WY whose primary ministry is as a PhD Psychologist.  The Church has been a significant part of my life for so long that it was a blessing to be able to work with someone who understands its jargon and dynamics.  I feared that I would have to stop every 5 minutes to explain something during our sessions.  In the end, my sessions proved quite fruitful.
    
    
14. I continued to meet, though with less regularity, with my discernment committee.  At one meeting during that summer, I had brought them up to date on my spiritual and psychological work.  During a break, I noticed a Cursillo poster on the bulletin board.  Twenty years earlier, my home parish in Denver had become a Cursillo hotbed, but I hadn't had the opportunity to take part.  Nor did I have the opportunity during my 16 year sojourn in Massachusetts.  Perhaps this was the time!
    
    
15. I was a Candidate at Colorado Cursillo Weekend #107 in August, 2002.  Indeed, the time was right.  In fact, I was the first candidate ever sponsored by St. Andrew's.  It turned out that the parish had two dozen Cursillistas from various places; my enthusiasm upon my return sparked a resurgence that has sponsored another dozen Candidates since then.  More importantly, Cursillo provided an intense personal encounter with Christ that went hand in hand with my Spiritual Direction in christology.
    
    
16. By the following January, I felt I was ready to return to the CoM for another try.  Unfortunately, the CoM wasn't yet ready for me.  They had gotten badly backlogged, so I would have to wait.  I eventually received a date 15 months after my first interview with the commission.
    
    
17. I worked on the team for Colorado Cursillo Weekend #110, a year after my own weekend.  As wonderful an experience as my own weekend had been, the second time was sweeter.  I was able to hear each of the 15 rollos (talks) again, each delivered with personal emphasis by a team member who I now knew well.
    
    
18. My second interview with the Commission on Ministry was the morning after I returned from the Cursillo weekend.  I was still flying, and this time the CoM was pleased to recommend me for Postulancy.
    
    
19. The Bishop has the final say.  +Rob O'Neill had been elected to be the 10th Bishop of Colorado in June, 2003.  He was consecrated as Bishop Coadjutor in October, two months after my second meeting with the CoM.  Since he would soon be the Bishop, I met with him a few weeks later to help in his discernment of me.  All was held in abeyance until January, when the previous bishop retired.
    
    
20. Bishop O'Neill admitted me as a Postulant for Holy Orders on January 12, 2004.  I was now free to apply to seminaries and begin my formation for ordination to the priesthood.  (Hallelujah!)